BLIZZARD CONFERENCE ROOM MARCH 1, 2007

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/TheLethalDragon/Warcraft/Tseric1.jpg

written by Jedik, Agamaggan.
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[Tseric] says: Alright guys, after 7 months in the Bahamas, I came back to the office and spilled coffee on my keyboard. Somehow it changed my browser to the shaman forums. I clicked on the "omg hot jessica alba pix" thread and it brought me to this discussion over a shaman who went 71-0 in Alterac Valley.

[Tigole] says: Hold on. Shaman need a fix?

[Nethaera] says: You didn't notice? The shaman forums are full of suggestions.

[Hortus] says: Why didn't you say anything before?

[Nethaera] says: I was leveling my paladin.

[Hortus] says: Fair enough.

[Tseric] says: Yes, so about that nerf. Let's start with..

[Tigole] says: Nerf? They don't need to be nerfed. They need to be fixed. They don't have any CC.

[Nethaera] says: Uhh Stoneclaw totem, duh?

[Tigole] says: ....

[Tseric] says: OKAY people. Let's get started on this nerf. How was this shaman doing all this damage and not dying?

[Tigole] says: Servers say he was duel-wielding. Using rank 4 and 5 windfury.

[Nethaera] says: How do you know he was doing all that damage?

[Tigole] says: Someone reported him for BaM mod spam. Looks like he was critting every second.

[Tseric] says: How the hell did he do that?

[Tigole] says: Windfury probably.

[Tseric] says: Windfury, where have I heard that before...

[Tigole] says: World of Warcraft?

[Tseric] says: Oh right. So about this windfury. That needs to be changed. We can't have some godly tauren running around.

[Tigole] says: It was actually a drenai.

[Tseric] says: A Drenai? What the hell? I thought I gave those to the alliance so all the BS would stop.

[Nethaera] says: No, you gave Drenai to the alliance because that hot girl from the 3rd floor wanted to play aliens and was about to leave the office.

[Tigole] says: You ever get on that Tseric?

[Tseric] says: Why you think I was in the Bahamas the past 7 months? HIGH FIVE SON!

[Tigole] says: Score!

[Hortus] says: Can we get back on subject?

[Tseric] says: Okay right, about this shaman. We need to do something with windfury. And I can't just throw my Nerf bat at the Drenai, because then that hot girl will go back to that guy who looks like Ben Affleck on the 5th floor and I'll get called in for racism against the Drenai with the Role-Playing department and then have to take classes down on 4th street with the old guy with a wig and..

[Hortus] says: ....

[Tseric] says: Ahem. Right. Okay, so lets just punch the shaman class down a few notches. What can we do?

[Nethaera] says: Didn't we just nerf priests by putting a cooldown on prayer of mending? Lets just put a cooldown on Windfury.

[Hortus] says: Alright, how about 10 seconds?

[Tseric] says: 10 seconds are you kidding me? I got a death threat from a level 66 gnome mage when I suggested nerfing Ice Lance. If we put 10 seconds on Windfury I don't want the shaman coming after me...Make it a 1 second cooldown.

[Hortus] says: 1? C'mon man, I'm the one getting threats from priests. Make it 5.

[Tseric] says: 2 Seconds.

[Hortus] says: 4 seconds.

[Tseric] says: 2 Seconds.

[Hortus] says: 3 Seconds and I'll give you half my snickers bar.

[Tseric] says: Deal.

[Nethaera] says: 3 seconds then?

[Tseric] says: Yeah. 3 sec... Oh my god this snickers bar is amazing. Where'd you get it?

[Hortus] says: Your desk.

[Tseric] says: Dude, I'm going to kick your ass in Super Smash Brothers later, just you wait. Alright, time to break the news to the shaman class.

[ Post edited by Jedik ]

If you're going to do satire, it should be more biting. This had the same effect on me as the Priests' joke of 'Guacamole!'. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense and doesn't get me to look at myself critically in the way you might intend.

/shrug

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Q u o t e:
and why would you Tseric... I mean.. in the story you get the girl. Screw what anyone else thinks.

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Yeah, but I didn't take vacation time to do it. Satire needs to be based in reality, lol.