Recently, i've noticed a disturbing trend amongst the forums. Normally, PVP threads would be rife with e-drama, e-peen enhancement and an awful lot of whine. However, much to my dismay, this is no longer true. Outsiders have been entering, complaining about the lack of PVP, the length of queues and the state of my beloved faction.

For once, the ugly ones were right. Alliance PVP is not what it should be and it's time someone took action. Being the bravest, most skilled and, let's face it, most attractive alliance player around, I decided to take this responsibility upon myself by writing this little guide.

So my fellow alliance players, go grab a pen, some paper and perhaps a cuppa and begin taking some notes!

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-- Introduction --

A wise man once said 'Peace is the only battle worth waging'. This man was a noob.

Peace does not get you noticed, peace does not stop your enemies from attacking you and it most certainly does not make you the PVP legend you deserve to be. This simple little guide will give you hints and tips on how you can instill fear in your enemies and make you stand out from the crowd!

-- Knowing your enemy --

The Horde
Every proud member of the alliance will know that their primary enemy are the horde, anyone who tells you differently clearly knows nothing, especially if they use the word 'lore' anywhere in their sentence.

The horde all have a few things in common:

• They are evil, soul-less creatures, who probably stole your laundry.


• They have no idea about how to properly PVP.


• They often resort to cowardly tactics, such as crowd control.


• For the most part, they're blonde.

For those who are yet to view an individual of the horde, I present to you a tauren shaman:

http://blogs.usask.ca/wow/hordepvp0sr.png

A truly fearsome foe and not to be underestimated.

Carebears
Another, lesser known group of alliance enemies are the evil carebears. For those of you who don't know what a carebear looks like, brace yourself for a truly evil creature:

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/204/carebearmd0.jpg

These evil do-ers allow the horde to run around freely in their near vicinity. This is, quite frankly, treasonous behaviour and they should be hanged for their impudence. Unfortunately, until Blizzard implement the /hanging function, you'll have to make do with some minor abuse. When you spot a carebear, you should exchange some choice unpleasantries. Examples of such abuse are:

• "/1 Pixie is noob. Don't group with her."


• "WTF? KIEL THEM, NOOB".

I find in situations like this that caps and broken english emphasise just how angry you are with their cowardice.

-- The Location --
A good hunter knows where to find his enemy. The horde for the most part, are clumsy beasts who swarm around in packs, making them easy to spot. As an alliance pvp legend, I have slain many of these vile creatures in the following locations:

• Stranglethorn Vale


• The Barrens


• Hillsbrad Foothills


• The Valley of Trials

As a level 69, I found these encounters particularly difficult and any brave alliance player considering taking up pvp should probably seek areas where the horde are less experienced.

-- PVP Etiquette --
As an honorable member of the alliance, when PVPing there is an unspoken etiquette you must adhere too. Below are just a few of the rules:

Ganking
There is a well known saying amongst the english: 'Never look a gift-horse in the mouth'. Put simply, it means, don't give up a good opportunity when you see one. Now, let's put this in a PVPing context. The horse is the PVP-Enabled player ahead of you who is 20 levels lower. The gift is that you get to feel big and clever.

Emoting
After, or during, a successful attack you may have the opportunity to emote your target. The type of emote you use reflects heavily on how you will be seen by your opponents. PVP Legends never /spit, nor do they /rude. This shows that in some way the horde player has irritated you and irritation is a kind of weakness the alliance do not deal with. Instead, rub the victory in their face. Use /gloat, /mock and /victory as much as possible. Other favourites include /roar and /lol, the more the better.

Camping
Camping is often frowned upon by members of the horde. But you must always bear in mind that horde players are noobs and no nothing about PVP. As such it is your right, nay, your responsibility, to camp your target as many times as you deem necessary. Levelling your cooking high enough to make a camp fire is advisable for all would-be alliance PVPers.

Durability Loss
Any old PVPer can kill a pathetic hordie. It takes a truly skilled PVPer to know when their job is done and then allow a wandering monster the last strike on their victim. This will cause your target to lose 10% of their armours durability and give them a nice little repair bill. When they die, remember to emote them appropriately.

-- PVPing Strategies --

A warrior fights first with his brain, failing that, with a bloody big axe. Once you've identified your target, you should use all your stealth and cunning to wait for the opportune moment. Use trees, stealth, invisibility potions or your Elekk to remain undetected. Then wait for any of the scenarios which have been detailed below:

Group PVP
Anyone who's read the warrior forums will appreciate that warrior's 'aren't meant for solo pvp' and their strength lies in group pvp. So, as a valiant warrior of the alliance, I decided to put this theory to the test.

When stalking your target, you should pay close attention to his movement and his current health. If the target is below 50% and has just engaged a mob, NOW is the time to strike. The target, being a horde noob, will not know what hit him.

This is a prime opportunity to practice your group pvp skills, using the mob as a companion.

Escort Quests
Dotted throughout the land are many NPC's who offer rewards for escorting them out of tricky situations. The horde and these NPC's have alot in common, they're both noobs and often agro several groups of mobs. At the hardest part of this quest, you should focus your attacks on the escorter. Being a member of the horde, he will panic and generally not do a very good job of escorting his new found companion.

This heroic action often causes a lot of distress to your victim and cause them to write forum topics about it. To increase the likelihood of this situation arising, you should emote them as much as possible with arrogant emotes.

The Intimidation Kill
This is a particular favourite of mine as no combat between you and your victim ever takes place. To successfully complete this kill you should be at least 10 levels higher than your target, wield a big scary weapon and be in an area with a dense population of mobs. When you've marked a suitably jumpy target, dismount and run after them. Through sheer terror of your big scary weapon, the victim will flee, agroing monster after monster. You should attempt to herd your victim into elites, dead ends, caves and other such places until they finally die from their wounds. The beauty of this is, you get to indirectly kill your target and they get durability loss! Hooray!

Hunter/Warlock bane
Horde warlocks and hunters get this game far too easy. Standing back as their computer controlled pet tanks 3 or 4 mobs. It's time they were punished, alliance style. Firstly, target a victim of greatly superior level who has boldly strided into a group of several mobs, then kill their pet. Watch as sheer chaos insues and the victim suddenly begins to get mauled. At this point, it may well be useful to slow/stun your target, lest they escape their fate. Once again, durability loss! (*high five!*)

Hahaha... Great stuff :-)